Wednesday, February 26th, 2020

Retail Therapy and Do-it-Yourself Checkouts

By Deborah Kimmett on Oct 31 2011 • Filed under Life

Thank you for Shopping With Us (Photo)When I get frustrated by life, I go for a little drive-by shopping. You know, where you take an Interac card and you do as much damage in as little time as possible.

I have been known to sneak out of the house and go buy things I don’t need with money I don’t have. But even then, there is no escape from bossy machines.

Now the grocery store and Wal-Mart both have this self-checkout system where instead of them paying somebody to learn how to use the machine to tally up the money you are spending at their store, they get you to experience the double pleasure of spending your own money and checking out the groceries yourself. You scan your item and the computer goes, "beep scan, beep scan, put the item in the bag, put the item in the bag, take the item out of the bag, scan the item, scan the item, scan the item, call the cashier."

I live on an island, so I have to get a lot of groceries at once. I was buying my normal ten bags worth and there were six bags on this carousel. So when they were all full, I took one off to start another one and all Hell broke loose! The computer went mental! Hal 9000 mental.

"Put the bag back on the carousel. Shoplifter, shoplifter."

I called the allegedly human cashier for some support, but she held up her Carpal Tunneled wrists as if to say, “I’m not helping ya.” I stormed out, thinking, “I shouldn’t have to buy groceries this way,” and Stephen Hawking was still screaming at me,"Get back here. Put the items back on the shelf!"


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