I recently came across an article in the Financial Post entitled “Happiness comes before success” by Allison Graham. It states that “Society has convinced women that they can have it all — a rewarding family life, a fantastic career, health, vitality, spiritual fulfillment. The list seems endless. But have these opportunities led to happiness? A variety of research suggests they have not and that women of today are more likely to be unhappier than their mothers. Happiness remains elusive to many women.”

This is pretty disturbing, but I see it over and over again. “Having it all” is a myth and women pay a very high price as they try to achieve it. The pressure to have it all leads to the drive to be “Superwoman.” Our lives are focused on being all and doing all for everyone and everything. I have women calling me for help on a daily basis because the strain of being everything to everyone is HARD! These women call and confess, often in hushed tones, that they need help to buy the gift for a child’s birthday party, pick up groceries, arrange for a handyman to come in and take care of repairs, or just book some of their appointments. The request is inevitably followed by an apology for asking for my team’s help, an admission of guilt that they should need to delegate and a request for complete confidentiality lest anyone find out that they need help

Each time I listen patiently and explain that they are not alone. Women everywhere call concierge services or hire housekeepers, babysitters or handymen to help them. It’s okay to ask for help. In fact it is crucial. No one can go it alone or do everything alone. We are meant to be surrounded by others and to help each other. I find it so infuriating that these women feel so guilty and are so ashamed of delegating their To Do Lists. It makes perfect sense for women (and men) to focus on what they do best and delegate the rest. If you hate grocery shopping, cleaning your home or taking care of home repairs, chances are you won’t do these jobs happily or well. Wouldn’t it be a far more effective use of your time if the jobs are taken care of by others, leaving you the time to focus on your work or your family?

Marcus Buckingham, researcher and author of “Find Your Strongest Life: What the Happiest and Most Successful Women Do Differently,” was interviewed for the Financial Post article. He found that women who have “it all” and are happy are so because they have made choices.

He says, "The key is to know yourself well enough to understand what activities within each domain energize you. Then tilt your life to include more of those. Create a list of all your activities at home and at work. Decide for each if you love it or loathe it. Work with your coworkers and family to fill as much of your day with your strengths and do less of the stuff that zaps you."

In other words, DELEGATION is the key to having it all. Stop wasting time and energy feeling guilty. Give yourself permission to let it go. Go out there and live your life to the fullest. Delegate the stuff you hate and focus on what you do best. You’ll be happier for it and chances are you’ll be more successful too!

So I challenge each of you –  give up three things you hate – whether you hire a helper, delegate it to a spouse or give it to a co-worker. Try it guilt free and see what happens.